Not Secret

[altogetherisi]

 OK, so this post might seem a bit odd, but whatever. Bare with me.

I read fandom secrets every day, and one thing comes up again and again. Several times I have thought about making a secret to express this to the comm, but a) I can't be bothered, b) it wouldn't change anything, c) its not that important, just something that bothers me and makes me sad to see, and most of all d) its hardly a secret. It's not even something I'd want to keep secret.

So, here I am, not keeping this opinion secret.

Over and over again, often several times each day, people confess secrets - and tame, silly secrets, about shipping B/C instead of A/B, or about not liking a certain kind of music, or about secretly liking a show, or book, or secretly hating a show or book, and ok some of the secrets are trolling, but I think many are probably real. And over and over again, I see people saying something like "Secret because my flist would hate me" or "secret because my flist would stop talking to me".

And I think, seriously? Your entire flist? Surely you are exaggerating just a tad?

And then I think, ok, that person really needs a better flist, because seriously? They would all turn on you? Especially when the opinion or whatever they are hiding (liking Twilight! hating Twilight! shipping a slightly different pairing! today, liking Mika!) are really not all that weird and there are plenty of people out there that share it. 

And then I think, I am so happy and relaxed with my flist. I know some of you better than others, and I comment back and forth on posts more with some of you than others, but I genuinely like all you guys, and I'm pretty sure most of you do actually like me. Some of you I've known for years, some of you I haven't, some of you I've met, some of you I haven't, some of you I talk to almost every day, some of you I don't know nearly as well. Some of you are my brain twins, and some of you are my best friends. And I'm utterly confident that I can express myself, about important things, not just who I ship or what music I'm listening to or even, yes, my thoughts on Twilight, or on Rose, or on Harmony shippers, and that you guys wouldn't just randomly start flaming me or turn on me or whatever.

And, y'know what? That's precious, and special, and I really appreciate it. So thanks guys :) You rock.

Comments

[khasael.livejournal.com]

I know there are people on my friends list who are appalled that I write fanfic. These are people who aren't into the whole 'fandom thing', most of which I know in person. I only learnt of fandoms and fanfic that wasn't Star Trek fanfic a year and a half ago, about the time the Maya fics were posted in their entirety for the final month. These same people follow me on Twitter, and have made comments there (I made some random comment about suddenly shipping Mal/Jayne, and the response I got was "dude, no"... From a former roommate of mine, a straight male, who spends an inordinate amout of time watching live shows with Drag Queens. I do not know exactly where the line is between slash and drag queens, but apparently, there is one). I tend to not mention as much about shipping (especially slash) there as I do here. But generally, I feel quite comfortable with my flist (especially with the addition of the Marmfish). I'm glad you are on it!

(Also, if someone wants to defriend me over how I feel over certain books, movies, and television shows, which pairs I ship (and some of them change at the drop of a hat, and in some cases, I have no OTP), etc., then what kind of friendship is that?)

[bergeronprocess.livejournal.com]

Yeah, not everyone on my friends list is into exactly the same things as I am. Hell, I even have some Twilight fans. I'm a huge anti, but keep it in check so as not to start a fire. I have friends who are Republicans, yet I am a very strong Democrat. I think we all realize that each and every one of us has the right to write what we like in our own journal, and to respect it. I keep very few things secret, and have lost very few friends because of that. I think you're good haha.

[branquignole.livejournal.com]

When your whole flist would turn on you because of certain opinions you express, then there must be something seriously wrong with you/your flist, I'd say. I mean, I don't know about other people, but I most often friend people because of shared interests (which you and a bunch of other people on my flist do too, I guess, since I know most of you from being gleeful and marmfishy over Sarah together :)) and I think that makes up for the things I don't have in common with them.

Oh, and I just saw- you're listening to Lady Gaga OMG. I think I may have to defriend you. :D

[kallavindar.livejournal.com]

I honestly have never even thought about my flist starting to hate me. I hardly ever think about that kind of things at all - I say what I think, I'm honest, and willing to discuss. Yes, I have had heated discussions about certain things, such as feminism, but as far as I know I haven't been defriended because of my opinions. I actually love debating with people who can actually talk about their opinions and not just state them. If personalities click and everything works, there should be no problem. :| People should just learn to stand other people's opinions and not think about defriending immediately if someone disagrees. I can understand being passionate about something, but...

I just don't think I'd defriend someone just because s/he dislikes a band a like or other equally petty thing, or even the meaningful ones, such as religion. On my flist, I have people from 15-year-old atheists to 20-year-old pagans and 45-year-old Christians and a lot of different kinds of people in between. Problems? No. The only problem I have had with my someone on my flist? Being called selfish because I didn't dedicate a post to Haiti after the earthquake. Rrrrright. :)

[metatarsus.livejournal.com]

I have totally said this to myself before. WTF is up with these people and their apparently psycho flists?! I have a feeling that a lot of those secret-makers are probably younger, high school age maybe... I know that I was WAY more worried about what other people thought of me back then. Now I just dgaf ;D

[arkeiryn.livejournal.com]

My flist is awesome too, but I think that is mainly because I suck at making internet friends and so most of my flist are marmfish, who we all know rock ^_^ I even have someone on my flist who I met in a completely different comm who happens to also be a marmfish, it's odd. (She's also writing a book about lesbian werewolves, which is the reason I wanted to add her in the first place :P)

(That's me saying thanks in a rather odd way, by the way ^_^)

[hanelissar.livejournal.com]

I check fandom_secrets a lot too (sometimes I see you there and it slightly weird but also cool! The lines of fandom blurring in a big happy smudge!) and that always strikes me as weird too. I mean, I know there are some crazy-ass people on the internet who over-react majorly but if you do not like that...why are they on your flist?

Maybe I have been too cossetted by my lovely and wonderful flist full of people I adore and know so many of so well, and maybe it's easier because a lot of us have similar opinions in things and aren't batshit insane, but still...I cannot imagine ever being scared to post something in case any of you yelled at me. Sometimes I'm hesitant because I'm not in the mood for a super discussion when I just want to post an opinion, but I've never been scared too.

Hm. Guess I must just be very grateful for the friends I have! :D

*huggles flist*

xxx