Age and Identity

[altogetherisi]

It's now Monday. It's my birthday on Sunday.

As usual, the thing has been creeping closer for sometime now, and I often do have strange ideas about age - I didn't really feel comfortable as 16 for example, in my head I basically went from 15 to 17. But this is now my last week as a teenager. That's weird.

I suppose after 20 years it might be expected that I would have some kind of confident and comfortable identity together by now, but I don't know, there is something weird about having the catch all excuse for my life of "teenager" being removed that just seems quite odd. And there isn't really anything to replace it with. I'm an adult, but I've been an adult for almost two years now and it's nothing to write home about. I'm a young person, but I've always been a young person. 

I think perhaps I am just being supremely silly. When I turned 13, I wasn't struck by lightning, nothing really changed. So why is the idea of no longer being a teenager so... not bad, just, odd.

I wonder if this is why people starting getting obsessed with anti-aging treatments. Less fear of actual aging, and more that they just don't want their faces, such an important part of the identity that others regard us by, changing without our knowledge and permission.

It really does feel like a couple of weeks ago that I was having my 18th birthday party, and it was two years ago (today, I think.) That can't be right. What if I turn around and I'm 30? Spooky.

Having written this, I am actually somewhat excited for my birthday for the first time in... well, in ages, that I can remember. I'm actually not sure I've ever been this excited for a birthday. Maybe my 15th, I think that one was ok. I'm not great at birthdays, least of all my own. But I'm going to have a nice meal out and then go and see Marina and the Diamonds, who I love love love, so. That sounds like a pretty good birthday to me.

So really, what am I worried about?

Comments

[arkeiryn]

*hugs* you are being silly-worried :P It'll be like every other birthday, you get there and nothing has changed and you wondered why you were so worried. Not that I'm not worried, and my birthday isn't until February :S but *hugs* it will be fine. Honestly. Ask some of the older fish if you don't believe me :P

[everworld2662.livejournal.com]

here is something weird about having the catch all excuse for my life of "teenager" being removed that just seems quite odd.

This is EXACTLY what bothered me when I turned 20. Still bothers me. Adolescence makes so many things excusable which, in adulthood, are not. Rationally, I know that people don't suddenly start expecting a ton more just because you're 20 instead of 19, and that in those terms, 20 is sort of still a 'teenager', in that it's young enough still for you to get away with stuff. So I guess there's that?

As a side note: early happy birthday! I hope you have a really, really fantastic day! Nice meal out + good band sounds like a fantabulous combination~

[branquignole.livejournal.com]

I felt the exact same way about being 16! It was totally not an age I was comfortable with. It felt weird saying "I'm 16", not so weird saying "I'm 15" or "I'm 17" though. I felt kind of relieved when I was finally 17.

In two weeks' time, I'll be 18. I think it is going to be a strange thing, to be 18, so I can understand why it is odd for you to not be a teenager anymore. I feel like I should change something about me, become someone else, someone more responsible and independent once I turn 18, and I don't know where that thought comes from. All of this is probably going to happen when I go to uni, not because it's my 18th birthday. Agh, sorry for rambling. All I wanted to say was: I get that weird feeling. :)

[altogetherisi.livejournal.com]

It's totally odd right? It's only a number, but somehow it became a comfort issue. Weird.

I think when I was about to be 18 I was a little weirded out, because that was the official end to my childhood right there, though leaving school months later was more of a rite of passage. Also, I found, and still find, that I'm not so much excited by the idea of responsibility but freaked out that people think I, and perhaps worse, others my age, could be considered responsible. I mean, have they met us? And yet, in practice, we all step up it seems. At least I got most of my rights at 16, I think getting all of them at once would be very strange.

In reality, I loved being 18, and I hope you do too. Probably because I spent most of it living the best of both worlds - still living at home, but able to go to the pub, or wherever whenever I liked, with a bit of money for the first time meaning freedom, and at school with all my friends looking forward to the great adventure of life ahead of us. In comparison I haven't really liked 19 much. With 19 I only really settled into a couple of months ago, and now it's nearly over, but I still catch myself thinking "I'm 18" when I actually mean "I'm over 18".

Maybe I shall become "Twenteen" instead...

[branquignole.livejournal.com]

Also, I found, and still find, that I'm not so much excited by the idea of responsibility but freaked out that people think I, and perhaps worse, others my age, could be considered responsible. I mean, have they met us?

THIS. Thanks, I wasn't able to put that into words. I always find it hard to imagine that the actual adults :D haven't been adults all their lives, as in haven't been responsible and sensible people since... forever. This is why it's also so hard for me to imagine that I can actually turn into someone like that (in parts at least).

You know, I think I will have a great time being 18! Apart from those "it's the end of my childhood!" issues, it sounds like a comfortable age. And I do think that you will have a great time being 20 too. Always keeping my fingers crossed, anyway. :)

[azurelunatic]

[altogetherisi.livejournal.com]

I WAS JUST THINKING OF THIS EXACT COMIC. But I have no idea how to put cool things in comments. Thank god we of the internet can communicate difficult to express situation with xkcd comics!

[azurelunatic]

I turned around and was 30! Scary stuff, that.

[hanelissar.livejournal.com]

I sympathise entirely. I am NOT 20. This is a LIE. I am obviously still 16, which conversely I absolutely loved being and insist that I still am. It is funny we are so opposite in this way - being 16 was very, very awesome, despite the fact that a lot of crappy stuff happened that year, it is the age I am in my brain probably forever.

But I am sure we will find that being twenty is awesome soon. When we are thirty, we will look back on our twenty year old selves with jealousy for how fun and exciting we were. Maybe.

xxxx

[mizzy2k.livejournal.com]

I'm 25 and everyone winds me up at work because I'm "A BABY! YOU ARE SO YOUNG!! BABY THING!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS ENVIRONMENT YOU YOUNG THING!1985! IT IS A BABY'S YEAR!!"

D:

Was not expecting to reach over 21 and ever be mocked for being too young!

LIFE IS WEIRD.

AlsoI'mpanickingaboutourOct23rddeadlinesopleaseletmeknowwhereyouaregoblinmarketshipwarswisekthxbai.