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 So I'm waiting for US election news. Polls will start to close in about 6 hours. I think Obama will win, and obviously I desperately hope he will, but I am concerned. It's a concerning time. We're all a bit anxious. I'm going to stay up all night to watch it unfold, like I did last time. Four years ago. Four years ago, a brief while, so long ago and yet really not at all. I had my first drink in a pub to celebrate Obama's election. I had just turned 18, I had just started receiving uni offers. 

Now I'm 22, and I'm back at uni. Hmmm.


I'm doing Nano, and I am attempting to finish The Misfit Witch. Good girl. Finish haha that's a scary word. I doubt it, I'm already rather behind. But I'm trying, I'm totally trying. I am definitely definitely going to finish Part 1, that's my real vow. And then have a decent crack at Part 2. Mert Mert Mert mostly. But today, a bit of Tawn and Burg, because I couldn't focus and could only write tiny flighty fragments. Tchuh.


I keep going to London at the weekends. I went the Sunday before my birthday, to see Jay Brannan with hanelissar. That was really fun - obviously Jay is one of my absolute favs, and Han hadn't been to see him live before, and beforehand we had plenty of lovely drinks and a jolly good time. Er, the next morning wasn't brilliant though. I have never been so concerned that I might actually be sick on a train. Not my finest moment. Stay classy self. On the plus side, the universe gave me a free (ie abandoned on the train, so I kept) copy of The Casual Vacancy which is cool because I was curious about it but not enough to actually buy it. Haven't read much of it yet, but bear with. Oh and that morning I had a woman taxi driver, and her taxi was really comfortable, and she was really nice, and I felt so awful but she was so nice, it really struck me.

The week after that I went back for the day on Saturday to see my brother and my dad and celebrate my birthday. We all had various travels issues but we eventually found each other and had a really good meal and some fucking amazing cake and it was a lovely day.

And this last weekend I went to see my friends A and A, to celebrate the birthday of one of the A at the other A's house. They both brought their boyfriends, and we had dinner, and then when to a goth club. All night. Now, when the idea of an "all night goth rave" was first mentioned to me, I had assumed this was hyperbole. It was not. The last tube, people who don't know London, is just before midnight generally. We set off at midnight. We got a bus at quarter to one. We got to the club a bit before 2am. And we stayed until kicking out time at 7.45am. oh my god. It took a few hours to grow on me, because I was kinda tired and cold and a bit grumpy at first, but then (morning person ahoy) about 5am I suddenly woke up and started really enjoying myself. So that was good fun.

When we left the club, it was raining heavily, and none of us had umbrellas, and I didn't have a proper coat, or even proper clothes really because hello clubbing, and we walked for about 15 minutes through this rain and omg November morning, cold cold cold wet wet wet. That was not pleasant. But! Once we had got finally made it back to A's house, looking like a collection of tired, drowned goth rats, I got to dry off and put on warm clothes, and then one of A's flatmates turned out to be an incredible angel of a flatmates because he didn't even know us and, I can't overstate how amazing this was, he made us bacon and egg sandwiches, and proper coffee. You may have read that, but you don't fully understand: he went out to the shops to buy us food, and then he cooked it for us, and he kept bringing us more, and seriously, I almost started crying because I'd been awake for about 30 hours and it was so amazing.

Then I crawled back here and slept through a lot of day and woke up in the middle of the night and completely through off my sleeping pattern but it doesn't matter because there's always tumblr isn't there.


I just started watching the Lizzie Bennet Diaries! They're good so far, definitely enjoying and would recommend. I'm not doing all that well at fandom otherwise. But that's ok. I'm still around online more than I thought I would be tbh, and frankly it will probably go down because hello essays, but yeah. I was worried I'd just drop away entirely. 

I still haven't seen Skyfall. I might just go by myself. 
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 It's my birthday! I'm 22 today. 

Wow. Definitely not a child any longer. What happened haha. The age so many people seem to want to go back to. I suppose I'd better try to make it good then :)

Heads Up

Sep. 26th, 2012 06:56 pm
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 Dear People Who Like Me,

It is my birthday in four weeks. How exciting! If you like me enough to wish to give me something and don't want to spend any money, last year certain people gave me music mixes for my birthday, and they were some of my very favourite presents. So. Just a thought... 

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 Happy Hallowe'en, and Happy Samhain to those that are celebrating! 
These days for me, Hallowe'en is the day I have an excuse to make sure there is chocolate in the house just in case trick or treaters come, and then, when they never do (like never – we’re just not that kind of neighbourhood I guess, I remember someone coming round once my whole life and it was over 10 years ago) I get to eat it myself. Which is a fine holiday IMO. Plus, I’m going to pick up my poppy today.
And Hallowe'en also means tomorrow is the beginning of Nano! Argh oh god. I’m ifonlyella if anyone wants to be writing buddies. I really want to win this year!

So we came back from Devon last Friday, because on the 22nd I was going to London to see two New Yorkers: Maureen Johnson in the morning, and Jay Brannan in the evening.
Morning and Maureen Johnson )
Then it was my birthday! )
A week on, I really need to finish my cake today…

Oh, hey

Oct. 24th, 2011 12:11 pm
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It's my birthday! 

So, today I am 21 years old. Wow. So old and so young, all at once. 

I am twenty-one. It totally sounds so much better than being twenty. And also nineteen, for that matter. Here's hoping! 

I have family with me, and I had mango for breakfast, and I have received cards and books and music, and later there will be cake and friends and alcohol, and I am happy happy happy :D :D :D
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 Devon is lovely this time of year :) Apparently it's about to get colder in the UK this week, but for now it is mostly dry, crisp and cool and autumnal. I love it here. Right this moment I am in Cafe Nero with wifi and coffee and happiness :D

I made my pilgrimage to the only independent bookshop I ever visit, and took time to find a book not only that I hadn't heard of by someone I hadn't heard of, which is one of my independent bookshop rules, but also to find one with a female protagonist (And happily, also by a female author, though I don't mind so much about that). This was slightly trickier than I would have hoped, but hey, it's a small bookshop so the sci-fi/fantasy area I tend to inhabit doesn't exactly have the widest selection. Anyway, I found a few eventually to choose between, so, triumph and victory! So far it seems good, but I've hardly started.


This morning, I got my creative writing over the 20,000 word mark! Yay! This is very exciting to me. I am hoping to go into Nano with about 30k under my belt, and am feeling happy and positive about this as totally possible. 

Unfortunately, this means I am vaguely uninterested in writing fic right now. I really wanted to finish the bandom AU this holiday, I got about 2000 words in. But. Well, it's unlikely. It's all there in my head, but the urge to pass it on has rather... passed. Maybe I'll come back to it when I'm blocked on original.


Next week is my birthday! I am a bit more excited than usual, I don't know why. For the record, if anyone here wants to give me something without spending money (this is the internet after all) I would LOVE a fanmix. I never have enough music. So, please feel free *flutters eyelashes* Just putting that out there...
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As it always seems to.

My 20th birthday was rather lovely. I had a nice three course meal at a pleasant restaurant with some family, I received a couple of cards and presents. Then I went to see my friend I and we watched Marina and the Diamonds. I adore Marina, like, a lot, I listened to her album pretty solidly this summer, like a lot, and I identify with a lot of her lyrics as well as enjoying her music. When we got to the venue there was already a big queue outside, and so when we got in we wouldn't have been able to get at all close to the front. So instead we stayed near the bar, and drank, and actually had a better view than if we had been closer.

She bought me a lot of drinks, it was awesome. And then afterwards we went to a bar, and she bought me another one. And then this random man bought us both cocktails. We were both pretty drunk, and it was freezing cold, and I got home relatively early, but y'know, it was a Sunday. And then I did some drunk tweeting, and went to bed, very happy.

I was still drunk in the morning - enough that I didn't like having to move because I wasn't very good at it, walking, and in fact some types of sitting, were problematic. I sobered up at about 2.30, but then had a bit of a hangover, so I napped until it was gone. And so it was after waking then that I considered my birthday actually over. Good times. Let's hope the rest of the year follows suit.


Because I am a crazy person, I have signed up to - well attempt to, anyway -- do Nano. I've never done it before, and usually enjoy November quite a lot by not imposing it on myself while many around me opt for the suffering, but well, I've got a lot of free time at the moment. And I do love writing. I want to take a chunk out of Imlie's Garden, hopefully including a change of working title because the garden isn't all that important any more. If anyone would like to be writing buddies, and help me through the pain and trauma, holla.


Politics is weird y'all. So much can change so fast, yet old fears and prejudices continue. There is a lot of smoke and mirrors and backstabbing and the angrier it makes me the more I want to get involved somehow, anyhow. I don't think this is normal. But I like it.


I went to see Jay Brannan in London. He was wonderful. Of course, his music was so incredibly beautiful, but it was a tiny intimate venue, he was right by me, and he chatted and joked with the audience, and made eye contact with us and responded to us, it felt really two way somehow. I didn't really know anything about his personality apart from his songs, and so getting an insight, however slight, into who he really is, this guy who's music helped me so much and means so much to me... well, that was precious. Love him.

In other music news, Taylor Swift's new album is being played over and over and over. The only thing at all bad is that it fills me with the (terrible, terrible) idea that I too having feelings should try to write songs. She's just too inspiring, damnnit.


Glee is missing more than it is hitting. Strictly Come Dancing is love. X Factor pisses me off, but I can't stop watching and bitching about how much I hate it. (Matt Cardle's version of Britney's Hit Me One More Time was awesome though, check it out.) The Apprentice is wearying. Is anyone watching the lesbian drama Lip Service? It's pretty trashy and a lot of the scenes are ridiculous, and the main character is a total dick (really reminds me of Keira Knightly though, in looks and poise) but I like it, I'm enjoying it. And David Tennant's Single Father is generally wonderful, with moments of wtfuckery. It's so nice to have him back on screens though.


I really need a job, I am running out of monies :( And aside from food, there are loads of awesome things I could do during this time, but I need money badly to do any of them. And for that I need employment. Soon, I hope. I really hope. Soon.
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It's now Monday. It's my birthday on Sunday.

As usual, the thing has been creeping closer for sometime now, and I often do have strange ideas about age - I didn't really feel comfortable as 16 for example, in my head I basically went from 15 to 17. But this is now my last week as a teenager. That's weird.

I suppose after 20 years it might be expected that I would have some kind of confident and comfortable identity together by now, but I don't know, there is something weird about having the catch all excuse for my life of "teenager" being removed that just seems quite odd. And there isn't really anything to replace it with. I'm an adult, but I've been an adult for almost two years now and it's nothing to write home about. I'm a young person, but I've always been a young person. 

I think perhaps I am just being supremely silly. When I turned 13, I wasn't struck by lightning, nothing really changed. So why is the idea of no longer being a teenager so... not bad, just, odd.

I wonder if this is why people starting getting obsessed with anti-aging treatments. Less fear of actual aging, and more that they just don't want their faces, such an important part of the identity that others regard us by, changing without our knowledge and permission.

It really does feel like a couple of weeks ago that I was having my 18th birthday party, and it was two years ago (today, I think.) That can't be right. What if I turn around and I'm 30? Spooky.

Having written this, I am actually somewhat excited for my birthday for the first time in... well, in ages, that I can remember. I'm actually not sure I've ever been this excited for a birthday. Maybe my 15th, I think that one was ok. I'm not great at birthdays, least of all my own. But I'm going to have a nice meal out and then go and see Marina and the Diamonds, who I love love love, so. That sounds like a pretty good birthday to me.

So really, what am I worried about?
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY FYNN!!! I hope you have a brilliant day, and enjoy this milestone birthday and the freedoms it brings you particularly. The first day of the rest of your life and all that jazz.

Also today, I found out that REZA ASLAN IS GOING TO BE AT HAY ON WYE FESTIVAL!!!! Not on the day I'll be there though, but still. There were about 5 minutes I considered trying to work it, but no. I was so delighted though.

I need to dress up 5 times next week, to fit the themes Cowboys and Indians, Superheroes, Social Stereotypes, School Uniform and Hogwarts. I'm going to be a cowgirl and a goth, because they are easy, and for school uniform, I'll probably try your basic tight white shirt, short pleated skirt, white knee socks maybe. But the others? Confusion, and bafflement. I was toying with the idea of Silk Spectre 2 for the superhero, but I'm not sure and it might be a bit tricky/unknown/too slutty. Any suggestions?

Is it weird that I hate the Da Vinci code SO SO MUCH but think the trailers for Angels&Demons actually look quite good? I'm so ashamed...
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It's my 18th birthday!!!


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the camelion Poet

July 2013



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